Happy Thanksgiving!

I'm thankful for this, I'm thankful for that.

Sometimes when it's cold I'm thankful I'm fat.

I'm thankful for water and thankful for milk.

I'm thankful for my cotton shirts but not so much for silk.

I'm thankful for my watch which is big and brown

I'm thankful for my bride who wore a beautiful white gown

I'm thankful for beer and glasses of wine

There are times I'm even thankful for vodka, tonic and lime.

I'm thankful for brothers, sisters and uncles and aunts

I'm thankful for nephews and nieces who poop their pants.

I'm thankful for my in-laws from Virginia and Wyandotte

I'm thankful Linsey went to CMU and not to Mott.

I'm thankful for Farwell, which is the home of my loving mom and dad

I'm thankful for the soldiers who fight in Baghdad.

I'm thankful for a job that helps me pay the rent

I'm thankful for cold drinking water, my favorite solvent

I'm thankful for musicians who sing pretty songs

I'm thankful for the food I eat, even hot dogs but not foot longs

I'm thankful for literature, even boring stuff like Hamlet

I'm thankful there are no kids that call me dad, yet

There are things I'm thankful for that I didn't mention

Things like friends and newspapers and my Central education

But if you're reading this, I'm probably thankful for you

So enjoy your Thanksgiving and have a merry Christmas, too.