BREAKING NEWS

UNION, KENT. -- Cassandra, a 32-year-old mother, gave birth to her fourth child Thursday afternoon, sources from within the hospital report.

It is the families first girl.

Maisy, several hours old, weighs 8 pounds 2 ounces. She has very little hair, but her grandmother Mary described her as "perfect" in a text message to family.

Maisy's father, Adam, first provided news to the Fruit Street Free Press in a picture message that the new child was actually a boy, which prompted a "no damn way" from this author.

The false news would have come as quite a surprise since the family already has three young boys and there was majoring yearning for a baby female among the adult females -- on both the Families sides.

Reached by phone, Maisy refused to answer questions about her sex and whether she was happy about the situation she was born into, only saying "waaaa, waaaaa" and flailing her arms as if she did not have control of her limbs.

When pressed by a reporter about how she was feeling, a woman in scrubs -- possible Maisy's agent or personal assistant -- picked her up and took her to an unidentified room.

"I think she'll like us," Spencer, 7, an older brother, said. "I mean, we have fresh candy from Halloween, video games, lots of toys and a backyard. I just hope we have enough food. Mom? .... hey mom... moooom. Do you we have enough food to feed Maisy? Mom?"

The family now have children born in each of the months from September to December. Lucas, another older brother who was born in December, pondered that for a moment.

"She's going to have a lot of birthdays with costumes, right?" Lucas said. "I bet she'll just have to use the same one she uses for Halloween."