MIDLAND, Mich. -- Just seconds after a surgeon sliced open with gruesome precision and stunning sterility the stomach of Kim Tait, a 6 pound, 13 ounce female measuring 19 inches was miraculously pulled from the open wound, doctors announced today.
The baby girl, named Cassandra Janelle, or C.J., as her Uncle Stephen may refer to her as, is Kim and Dan second child, but the first girl. Their first child, Alden, asked for more cheese flavored goldfish crackers when his dad first showed him his new sister.
"Ahhh," Alden said, pointing to the bag of snacks.
Kim, a 20-something nurse, works in the same hospital in which her baby was delivered. That caused a brief problem during the birthing process when, during the surgery, Kim noticed a more efficient way to deliver her baby and in a frustrated tone said to a rather incompetent nurse: "Step aside, I'll take over from here."
Cassandra Janelle "CJ", after cleaning up a little, said thank you to those who helped bring her into the world, chiefly her parents and grandparents.
"Without you," she said, "this really wouldn't be possible, and I thank you for allowing me to come into this world."
After a brief moment, the newborn looked around the room and saw no presents waiting for her, realizing quickly that her worst nightmares had come true.
"Just as I suspected," she said. "The day after Christmas and everyone forgets about my birthday. It is already happening.
"I guess I should get used to it," she said, spitting out a binky someone tried to pass off as a birthday present. "It's going to happen the rest of my life."
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3 comments:
That was a good one Stephen, great work. You are a great uncle. She is a beauty. I will try to upload pics right now, with this slow internet service, I can't promise much.
Grammy
You crack me up Stephen.
Stephen, I can't sleep, so I'm looking over some of your older posts.
I love them all, but, just LOVE this one.
:)
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